When I was 6 my brother told me that old people sag because they’re being pulled to hell and I cried
why is the female hero so often tomboyish
why cant there just be one like oops i chipped my barbie pink nail polish while brutally killing an entire armada of time traveling ninja pirates
with my hair curler
i don’t even need to know the context of this drawing
PUSSY GAME TOO STRONG EVEN FOR THE DEVIL.
sorry i dont think i can come to ur birthday party theres a rumor going around that u dont have wifi :/
I like cards against humanity because it’s offensive and because this is an actual review on their website they chose to publish:
Dear tumblr staff,
stop. its ok. you don’t need to do these things. just focus on functionality(like the video player). we don’t need these little updates when somethings(like the video player) need your focus. thank you for your time but really, tumblr looks great. try to fix more important things(like the video player) so that we can all properly enjoy the features of tumblr(like the video player)
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E